I knew it was a controversial topic, but I didn’t think the way I worded things would receive that much negative attention. I was wrong.
The comments on the thread have been getting out of hand. I woke up this afternoon to find a few comments from people that would clearly erupt into an argument if I left them.
For justification, the post was supposed to be constructive tips for several female officers I either actually know struggling or for all the people who have posted threads on this subject in the guild relations forum. I understand it was poorly written and most of the tips were generic tips that weren’t necessarily gender specific, but they were, in my opinion, the main reasons I’ve seen female officers struggle.
With that said, please play nice. Constructive feedback is nice, but comments like:
“Personally, I have been under female guild leadership for most of my life, and I am sick of woman slowing down raids.”
“I am also sick of ‘girl talk’ in vent, sluggish raids because of poor direction and leadership from woman, and most of all I hate the fan-fic writing nature of woman. They will turn ANY server into an RP server because they are so emotionally tuned and connected to every little thing.”
“PS to woman everywhere. (Talk less – Play More)”
Are bound to offend people and start trouble. Opinions are one thing, but try not to set my blog afire while I’m away at work, okay? 
In other news, working on a few drafts.. not sure which will end up being published first. Maybe I can play topic roulette with ‘em? Or, I could always do a silly post. Haven’t had one of those in a while.
That makes my comment – which I re-read few times and I’m sure it sounded like crazy-feminist rant – even more true. And it’s really sad.
“It will never stop amazing me how douche people can be.”
Worry not, though! With this attitude these people will never get laid and soon simply become extinct. Which is we all wish.
By: Crash on April 28, 2009
at 8:14 pm
I’m the hardest person to offend. It didn’t bother me so much as it did worry me that people who read my blog would be offended.
By: ariedan on April 28, 2009
at 8:22 pm
“Opinions are one thing, but try not to set my blog afire while I’m away at work, okay?”
As ruler of an organization devoted exclusively to burning, I am offended by this quote. I demand you delete this post also.
In its place I would like a post titled, “The Post Explaining About The Deleted Post Has Been Deleted.”
By: Sargeras on April 28, 2009
at 8:46 pm
It’s sad that people reacted like that, I wouldn’t have deleted the whole post though. You could just have deleted all the comments and then disabled comments.
- Lora
By: Lora on April 29, 2009
at 12:20 am
I didn’t actually delete it, I just made it private.
By: ariedan on April 29, 2009
at 12:34 am
I guessed so, yes. But you said you delete it so I wasn’t going to be the smartass saying that you most probably just set it private.
By: Lora on April 29, 2009
at 8:13 am
While it is true that I took issue with the post, I am sorry that you felt compelled to remove it. I hope that my criticsm came across as honest, rather than as a “flame.” I do enjoy your writing and respect you as a blogger; I just didn’t particularly agree with your sentiments on that topic.
By: Elleiras on April 29, 2009
at 12:39 am
Oh no, please don’t think it had to do with your comments. Like I said, little offends me, and there’s nothing wrong with stating your opinion in a mature manner, which you did. The flame wars, or posts that would have resulted in flame wars, are not okay.
Anyhow, all is well. It’s a controversial subject and relative depending on whoever you ask, so I should’ve known better to discuss it.
By: ariedan on April 29, 2009
at 2:11 am
Well … hi.
I haven’t had the chance to read the post. Actually I just stumbled over your blog five Minutes ago, encouraged by World of Snarkcraft.
I just wanted to say that I raid under female leadership for about two years now. And that with respectable success.
By: Alfonsius on April 29, 2009
at 4:36 am
It’s a shame tho. The controversy between feminity and leadership is just a widespread topic as much as the difference between men and women in the first place.
You were brave to touch that in a blog devoted to WoW, the game with the biggest % of females and also the biggest dating system on the planet
By: shufti on April 29, 2009
at 5:39 am
Hmmm =/ One of the reasons I avoid the “female gamers” topic as much as possible in my blog.
Still think your post was nice though!
By: SuicidalPriest on April 29, 2009
at 6:09 am
I’m sorry to hear that you got so much heat over that post. I just came here now, hoping to pick up a few tips, but I got here too late.
I’m a gal, and an officer in my guild. We have 50-50 girls and guys in the officer ranks and I’m always looking for new ideas about how dealing with people. Keep up the good writing!
By: Lidija on April 29, 2009
at 6:38 am
I personally thought it was a great post. I’m a male guild leader of a guild with a larger than normal percentage of female gamers. Three of my seven officers are women, and 2 of the 5 raid council members are women. So maybe I have an unusually skewed view of the gaming world.
I think all of the comments you referenced above were sad and uneducated. Yes we have a few of the “I want to flirt with guys instead of work” women in Stalwart, but the majority are far more hardcore about their classes than most of the guys. I think you should reinstate your post and just turn off comments IMO
By: exetertbc on April 29, 2009
at 8:21 am
Honestly, between a “good” female leader and a “good” male leader, I’d rather follow the female leader. I’m not sure why, but when I’m following a guy, I always feel my inner sense of self battling for superiority, looking for ways to prove him wrong, or take him down in some way. With a woman leading, I do not feel this way. I’m free to follow her to the best of my ability without the constant inner struggle, which makes me a much happier person in the long run.
By: Copernicus on April 29, 2009
at 9:05 am
Shit, the two people who talk the most on vent in our guild are both guys. Whoever left the talk less play more comment needs to come hang out on our vent, where the women can’t get a word in edgewise. Until I globally mute the guys in question, of course.
By: Ambrosyne on April 29, 2009
at 9:15 am
First off: I’m a dude.
Second: Fortunately Google Reader doesn’t delete it’s content (I still have your excellent post).
Third: It was a great post. I would have recommended keeping it and disabling comments. It’s a huge social issue — not just a game issue — and your suggestions were/are also applicable to life outside WoW. Don’t be afraid to discuss such a topic on your blog. If readers feel you are censoring yourself to cater to trolls you will not come off as authentic. I appreciate your openness and I love reading genuine content.
Fourth: WoW is full of douchebags. Period. It’s full of people who feel they can say what they wish when they wish because they don’t have their words tied to their personal identity. It’s tied solely to their in-game identity which they can delete/alter at any time they wish. There are no repercussions for their words or actions.
Those same people extend that logic to forums and blogs as well.
If you’re going to have a blog such as this (one that’s left open for douchebags to be douchebags) I guess you need to just be ready for that and accept it. But, I beg you, please don’t let that be the reason you censor yourself like this.
It’s one thing for people to disagree and leave constructive criticism. Disagreeing is good. It’s productive. It leads to new viewpoints and new understandings. Obviously it’s another to be flat-out rude, crude, nasty and hurtful. Just be ready to delete those comments. Maybe have some trusted individuals help you moderate if it becomes overwhelming.
By: Beefeater on April 29, 2009
at 10:30 am
Aw, I’m sad it was deleted. I didn’t make any comments on that post, but it was a good post that I enjoyed reading.
We have a ton of females in our guild, and they aren’t treated any differently or act any differently. The people who made the comments you quoted are morons. You shouldn’t deprive the world of a good post because of some morons.
By: Celton on April 29, 2009
at 10:36 am
This makes me wish I’d copied your post or subscribed. It was thought provoking, and touched on a hot topic. I agree with Beefeater, he wrote down exactly what I was thinking.
You presented your own opinions and observations supported by facts. You didn’t present it as a result of research nor did you tell lies.
If anyone were offended by your post, they either didn’t read it thoroughly enough, or they might hopefully learn something from reading it again.
In other words: I’m provoked that they were provoked, please don’t let the idiots decide and thus prevent others from learning respect.
I say put the post back to public, disable the comments, and if people disagree they can write down their point of view in their own blogs or discuss it elsewhere.
By: Kel on April 29, 2009
at 1:00 pm
Beefeater nailed everything I wanted to say on the head.
Please don’t censor yourself for the few immature people that are out there. The rest of us still want to read what you write!
By: Hollybrynn on April 29, 2009
at 2:01 pm
You know what would be a nice, uncontroversial topic you could blog about? Politics and religion!
I bet people will be level-headed and rational when discussing it.
By: Jeriel on April 29, 2009
at 2:46 pm
I’m sorry you felt you had to delete the last post. While I had not commented on it and was more in agreement with Elleiras’s view point on it, I still did not think it needed to disappear.
I must have missed the worst of the comments because the ones I had read on the last post did not seem to be inciting a flame war.
While I do not like the idea overall idea of deleting comments, ones that are inappropriate could have been eliminated and/or comments locked. Unfortunately, deleting a controversial post is a win for the flame trolls.
By: Syrana on April 29, 2009
at 4:00 pm
I was looking through some posts in the guild recruitment forum and I checked back in the one I made a while back. I just realised that you posted trying to recruit me! Too bad your raid times were too late for me, I’d have loved to join your guild.
By: Shopshopshop on April 29, 2009
at 4:37 pm
Your posts are a testament to you, your personality and your opinion. Never let anyone take that away from you regardless of who they are and what they say. There are ways to completely seal off comments from appearing. There are also methods to turn on post specific moderation on comments.
Something you’ll learn as a blogger when starting out is that you have a lot more fans then you realize. Yet it’s always the negative people that stand out. It takes 10 good comments to offset 1 negative comment.
Even then, most people just lurk and don’t post their thoughts. Most readers don’t realize what a simple “Good post!” does to a blogger’s feelings.
But I know. And that was a damned good post. I’m disappointed you felt compelled to hide it. I hope it’s the last post you ever hide again.
As bloggers, we open and set ourselves up to be criticized. I write posts about my thoughts. I write about my methods. I write about my successes.
More importantly, I write about my failures and am not ashamed of them. Because I know someone out there will learn from it. And I hope this experience at least taught you something. The internet’s a harsh place. But you have more support than you think.
By: Matticus on April 30, 2009
at 2:51 am
I am sorry that you felt you needed to delete that post.
I thought it was well written and thought out which may be why the flame patrol came out to play.
After reading Matticus’s post, I wanted to let you know that this lurker supports you.
By: Kalah on April 30, 2009
at 11:49 am
Was a well written post. Shouldn’t have had to delete it. If people don’t like what you say, well, tough cookies. They’d better get over it and move on.
Don’t let anyone ever give you lip just because you happen to be a female gamer or guild leader or anything.
By: Lord Dictator on April 30, 2009
at 12:51 pm
I took your post as “how to deal with jerks who think you can’t lead because you’re a woman”. I’m not sure why some disagreed with it at all. I took it as the perspective of an underestimated female raid leader. There is nothing wrong with this writing from this perspective.
I think everyone needs to remember something, if you get offended by anothers post, there’s a good chance it has nothing to do with the post and something to do with your own feelings, thoughts and beliefs. You may be reading too much into things.
I’d repost it and lock it to comments. This is your blog and you do it for YOUR enjoyment and nobody else’s. Don’t forget that.
By: Melissa on April 30, 2009
at 1:53 pm
Dearest Ariedan,
Working hard to get my fill,
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin anything to roll the dice,
Just one more time
Some will win, some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on
Dont stop believin
Hold on to the feelin
Streetlight people
(repeat as desired)
lol <3
By: Rhinjet on April 30, 2009
at 2:15 pm
I found the original post to be very relevant and thought-provoking. Don’t be intimidated by the bullies. If you don’t want jerky comments on your blog you can always delete them or lock that particular post.
In other words, I’m with Matticus.
By: Seri on April 30, 2009
at 11:37 pm
I thought you might mind this graph from The Daedalus Project interesting. It shows that women are more likely to be guild leaders than men.
http://www.nickyee.com/daedalus/archives/000552.php
By: springplum on May 1, 2009
at 1:16 pm
I’ve read the post when it still had a few comments, and it was a good way of expressing what female players, particularly female guild masters go through. some may not agree with some of the content, but its still good to get the views from the other side of the gender wall. Anyways, keep it up! You’ve got one reader eagerly waiting for your posts. :3
(PS: Can you mail me the comments? I’d like to read what happened. If not, then nevermind.
)
By: gmon on May 2, 2009
at 2:02 pm
I didn’t get to read the article, alas, I found you too late! But I vote for re-instating the article and either deleting offending comments, or if you don’t want to do that, turn comments off for that particular article (if you can do them on a case-by-case basis).
Anyway, I’m sorry the trolls decided to strike. Some people are idiots.
By: Daralei on Moon Guard on May 21, 2009
at 9:41 am